Journey into 2016

The deafening sound of my thoughts filled my head. There is no buffer, no filter, no distractor…there is only, me. How am I going to survive the next 31 days? Maybe I should ease into fasting. I’ll simply grab a glass of wine, get some chocolate or just a teaspoon of peanut butter, and click through my Facebook feed. No one will know if I cheat. And really, it’s not cheating. I set the rules to my fast. If I want to change them I can! As I opened my computer and entered “F” in the address line I stopped. I’d know. I closed the computer. The day is January 2nd, 2016.

Detoxing is hard. Changing habits is harder. Where I once filled hours trolling Facebook and snacking I had to find something different to do. There were times I’d write, times I’d read, times I’d work out, times I did absolutely nothing save listening to my heartbeat and the power of my thoughts. People meditate, pray, fast for many reasons. For me it’s about discipline and obedience. Where at the beginning of the month the thought of no Facebook, no sugar, no wine, no processed food, and, for the first 10 days, no solid food, was unimaginable. By the end of the month I could imagine no other way.

As I cleansed my mind, body, spirit during the 2016 reset, these were my top 3 lessons:

1. I eat and troll Facebook when I’m bored. More accurately, when I don’t feel like being fully present with my thoughts. Eating and Facebooking are wonderful distractors from building relationships and engaging in deep interactions with self and others.

2. I have 4 categories of people in my life. Faux-friends, Facebook-friends, Family-friends, and Frenemies. Faux-friends are like acquaintances. These are people I run into and we’ll say “email me, we have to get together,” and we never do. We like each other, we simply aren’t fully vested in the relationship. Facebook-friends are the people I’m connected to through Facebook only. We may have met at some point and time; but, now our interaction is limited to Facebook. We read each other’s posts and are genuinely concerned about the others well-being in Facebookland. Family-friends are my favorite. These are the people I can call (well in most cases text) at 4:30am and they respond. Sometimes with a WTF; but, they respond never the less. We can go years without talking and pick up like a heartbeat. We’re in rhythm, aligned. Family-friends are those I trust in my heart-space. The last group are Frenemies. I knew frenemies existed, I just wasn’t aware I had any. Frenemies wear the guise of the other categories, so they are difficult to detect. As a rule, I practice “talk to me not about me or simply ignore my existence.” I forget everyone is not this way; there are people who only feel better when they are spreading negativity. 

3. I have extremely “soft” feelings. My mom used to tell me this when I was a child. It holds true today. I cry for the pain of others, I’m disheartened by inequity, my feelings are easily hurt, and I get frustrated when I’m misunderstood... And, I wouldn’t have it any other way. My “soft” feelings are part of what makes me – me.

This year have you taken time to stop, to reset, to be fully present with you? What did you discover? What is left to uncover? Remember, you’re the only person you’re guaranteed to be with for the rest of your life. Treat yourself well!