Thursday morning, April 21, 2016, the musician Prince
unexpectedly died. Thursday evening, I read through the myriad of social media
comments, and made my own. I reminisced with others about the impact his life,
his music, his art, had on me. The next morning, as I sifted through the
various comments there was one that caught my eye. It was from an old high
school friend who was questioning the fuss the world, specifically I, was
making regarding the death of Prince. He shared that he could not, would not, did
not, understand how I could mourn someone I did not know when there are others
who are more deserving of my tears.
As one who does not engage in absolutisms, my initial reaction
was to engage in dialog, to attempt to explain my perspective which was, and
is, two-fold. First I mourn the loss of life, second, my mourning is deeply
tied to the role the music played as a soundtrack to my development. Prince’s
death represents the death of a part of my youth and a reminder of the
fragility of life. The more I tried to explain, the more strident this friend
became in his responses. We ended the conversation by agreeing to disagree and
reaffirming the friendship. But, if I am truthful, I was actually hurt, and to
a degree, offended.
Because of my visceral reaction I began to question the veracity
of my internal response. I pondered this
interaction and my feelings throughout the weekend. In a world where people become locked into
their own opinions, dismissing others with the click of a button, what has
happened to agreeing to disagree? What has happened to questioning our motives
as well as that of others? What has
happened to looking at life through the lens of someone else’s perspective?
He may never say it directly; however, I began to contemplate this
friend’s role in society. He is a military officer currently stationed abroad.
His perspective of the world, and interaction with it, is different than mine.
Because he has a different world view, his reactions to some issues in turn are
different. Not better, or worse, simply
different.
He did not go in depth, nor does he have to, regarding his
underlying emotions. However, I could
speculate he experienced frustration when he knows there are many men and women
who die for noble causes without their deaths being acknowledged. There are no
outpourings of sympathy, no buildings lit, they die and that's the end.
The more I thought, the more my perspective began to expand. I
am of the belief that the world is not a zero sum game. My view is one of, both
and, not either or. In my understanding
of the world, multiple things can, and do, exist at the same time. For
instance, I can respect someone as a person, while I may be diametrically
opposed to some of their opinions.
As a society I wonder if we will learn to talk about the
validity of issues without making personal attacks? I wonder if we will ever be
able to understand that there is a person who has her/his own beliefs, values,
and opinions on the other side of a discussion?
I wonder if we will ever learn that every discussion does not have to
turn into an argument of who’s right and who’s wrong? I wonder if we will ever
realize that both sides may be right and that the solution rests somewhere in
between?
I am deeply grateful to this person for challenging me, whether
intentional or not, to think deeper. There are so many large, world changing
issues that we face from extreme poverty, to war, to hunger and starvation, to
even, yes, how we respond to the senseless loss of life. At this point in
history, we need to not only challenge the perspectives of others, but to question
our own perspectives and motives. Frantz Fanon said it best, “My final prayer: O
my body, make of me always a (wo)man who questions!”
